The Pepperoni Thief

“Ding” The sound of the bell as a short stocky figure walks into a crowded subway

“Fuck” he says to himself realizing he came during the lunch rush so his plans may not come to fruition. He waits anxiously as the line practically out the door and at this point his plan is all but ruined.

“Ding ding ding” every sound of the bell is like a strike in the heart to him. He needs something to do. He pulls out his phone and decides to message his friends about his current situation. His friends always knew what to say to cheer him up. He waits anxiously for their response but soon he realize when they reply it’ll be too late.
He has one option and that is Logic.

He hooks up his phone and scrolls through a playlist he named “The Goat” which is filled with his favorite rapper Logic discography. He stopped at a song that always calmed him down The grabs his gold wireless Beats by Dre headphones and attempts the connect them to the Bluetooth. After a few failed attempts due to nervousness and impatience he finally hears the little beep to know its connected.

He puts on his headphones and a wave of calmness comes on as he places the headphones on his ears and began mumbling his favorite song as his favorite part comes on. ” That Bino the realest, uh, this beat made me kill it, uh”.

As the line is moving he can finally see his objective sitting there looking so pretty behind the glass. At this point nothing else matters but getting away with it.
The line slowly moves along and it’s finally his turn.

“Welcome to Subway what’s your order”, The petite lady says as she puts on her gloves.

“I would like a footlong black forest ham and turkey with provolone cheese on italian herbs and cheese bread. As she is fixing his sub he then realizes how pretty she actually is.

“Hmm I always wanted to fuck a skinny bitch” he says to himself inaudible to anybody else. He is instantly met with shame for he has a girl, well sorta kinda but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

She then asks did he want to add double meat. The guy takes a look around the room looking at all the vigilant-seeming workers and hungry customers. “I’ll pass” he says politely.

This is the moment he has been waiting for he sees the pepperoni sitting there and he knows this is the perfect addition to his sandwich. “Do you want it toasted” the subway worker asks.

“Who doesn’t like their subway toasted am I right”, the man says with a loud awkward laugh followed by a nervous smile, he stood there waiting for a reaction from her and that’s all he did was wait because she didn’t have an inkling of expression on her face. The nervous smile was swiftly followed with regret and then a cringing pain afterwards. She could’ve at least responded back with a fake smile to make it less awkward. She obviously isn’t feeling me or isn’t much for small talk he thought, maybe another time.

Now they are both staring at each other luckily the subway is crowded and noise is making the silence between them a little less awkward. It only lasted for a split second before he realized she may not of understood his little joke. “Yes… I would like it toasted”, he said as he kinda held his head down in embarrassment for his most recent action.

As she puts his sandwich in the toaster he then steps aside the the veggie section as he patiently waits. He watches the clock on the timer as it counts down from 2 minutes all the way down to 1:30. It’ll Feel like forever if he just watches the clock tick down so he decides to check his phone. No luck then he overhears these two old men talking about how the Lions would win the Super Bowl this year. He really wanted to put an end to their hopes but he then remembered how he handled the “Toasted Sandwich” situation so he decided he would sit out. It didn’t help that they were old so they might not have respected his opinion anyways.

The toaster beeps and his attention is immediately brought to it as she walks to it and takes his sandwich He was practically in heaven. It looked so beautiful with steam rising from the toasted provolone and the smell of the pepperoni danced on his nostrils making his mouth water. He was quickly brought back to earth when he smelled the Italian herbs and cheese bread was slightly burned on the edges but it wasn’t too much of a problem to complain about.

He begins telling her what veggies he wants lettuce, spinach and pickles. After that he asks her to put mustard and mayo on his sandwich. Her face scrunched up because it was a weird combination but it worked for him. Unfortunately he probably didn’t have a chance. Lost in his own mind he didn’t notice that she put on a bit too much mayo but it wasn’t like she could take it off easily so he decided to let it slide.

Around this part he would get nervous and today was not an exception. He pulls out his wallet and shuffles through a 20 dollar bill. He begins to get a little frantic as he desperately pats his front pants pockets only to be greeted with lint and a Canadian dime he had when he went to Canada last week. He flicks the lint away and contemplate doing the same with the dime but then he decides otherwise.


The problem was that he had 6 dollars in his pockets or at least he thought he did. You see he needed that 20 for lab fees for his biology class and didn’t want to break it in order to get food. It would be a inconvenience to go back to the atm, a minor one at that but it still mattered to him. This could’ve been solved by not ordering the extra pepperoni but he just simply had to have it. He then searches his pockets again and found a crumpled up five dollar bill accompanied by a fresh dollar bill. His heart instantly felt relief from the pressure of almost not having the money but this sensation was cut short when he realized the cashier was about to ring up his sandwich.


It is as almost time stops and he takes a look around him. He sees all the customers behind him and thought again that he would never get away with such a crime. He then check his phone to see if someone will help him but nobody responded. With the 6 dollars in his hand and the 20 in his wallet he wondered what will he have to use. He immediately thought of how dreadful it would be to go to the other side of campus to the atm just to take out money then go back to this side to give the professor the money.


He then gets a good look at the cashier and then he realized this was his mortal enemy, Shanquetta. Shanquetta was a model Subway employee and almost never let anyone slide without paying the rightful amount. His mind was clouded with doubt and he thought for sure he was doomed this time. How will he escape her all knowing reign. She looked at him confidently like she could smell the fear and deceit on him, she was definately  gonna make him pay and then some.


Usually around this time they would ask him what he had on his sandwich, but this time they didn’t. A worker from the back quickly informed Shanquetta that there was a spill in the back and they needed her assistance. Shanquetta looked at our Pepperoni culprit and said “you got lucky this time but if you come around here again I’ll make you pay double”. She then left to attend to her duties.


They replaced Shanquetta with another cashier. The cashier simply said $5.82 and a rush of excited energy flowed through him as he handed her the money and took his sandwich and headed for the door. He then looks at the customer’s faces of disgust as he didn’t state he added pepperoni to his sandwich. “What betrayal”, they thought.


You would think with a crowded Subway one might not be able to get away with such an egregious crime as stealing pepperonis.  Perhaps it was all a plan,he maybe had an inside man to make a spill to avoid Shanquetta or maybe he just got lucky. There are a lot of unanswered questions but I do know one this; a Legend was born and his name is Antonio D. Butler The Pepperoni Thief.


He then pulls out his phone and texts his friends as he leaves the subway, “The boy got away with the pepperoni once again”.

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